雅思作文批改|6分：对图表描述准确到位，须注意词汇准确性

　　雅思考试是为那些打算在以英语作为交流语言的国家或地区学习或工作的人们设置的英语语言水平考试，雅思考试内容是由听力、阅读、写作和口语共四部分。后面小编会陆续更新关于雅思作文批改的文章，在备考雅思时帮助大家不断修改中进步。

　　作文题目：剑8 第53页

　　作文内容：

　　The pie charts illustrate  how money was spent by a certain school in the United Kingdom on different  aspects whose percentage changed noticeably in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

　　Although the spending  of insurance kept an upward trend in these three years, which rose from 2% to  8%, still remaining the least cost among the five Oppositely, the payment  spent on other worker’s salaries kept going down, which started from 28% and  finally stood at 15%.

　　The salaries for  teachers, occupied the dominant part of expenditureby[b1]this school among the  three years. And it reached 50% of the total in 1991. Whereas, with a slight  decrease, it constitutedmerely [b2]45%  in 2001. Similarly, resources like books first tended to make up more, but in  the end, it decreased significantly to 9%. In contrast, the cost of furniture  and equipment held an opposite changing trend, which dropped from 15% to 5%,  but then grew back to 23% in 2001.

　　In summary, teacher’s salaries were the main cost for this school, while insurance remained the least in 1980, 1991 and 2001. The spending on other workers’ salaries, resources or furniture and equipment all had been seen some fluctuation.

　　[b1]of the ,注意这里的关系，因该是“学校的开支”

　　[b2]前面的形容是slight decrease（略微的下滑），因此这里使用merely不太合适，可以删除，或者使用表示比较关系的词来形容，比如：comparatively lower

　　各项细评：

　　针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：

　　这篇作文对图表中的信息概述整体比较准确，到位，需要注意一些小词的准确性，比如介词，副词。

　　附批改原图：

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