雅思作文批改|7分:整体非常棒,注意保持加分点!

2018-05-24 14:46 1811819次浏览
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  雅思考试是为那些打算在以英语作为交流语言的国家或地区学习或工作的人们设置的英语语言水平考试,雅思考试内容是由听力、阅读、写作和口语共四部分。后面小编会陆续更新关于雅思作文批改的文章,在备考雅思时帮助大家不断修改中进步。

雅思作文批改|7分:整体非常棒,注意保持加分点!

  作文题目:

  Today, the qualities of  life of people in big cities are worse. What are the causes of this problem?  Any measures should be take to solve it?

  作文内容:

  Urbanization is anevitable [A1]trend during the process of a nation's development. It  not only offers us more job opportunities and convenience due to high  technology, but also some serious and tricky issues which may compromise the  qualities of life.

  There are a wide range of causes which  account for such phenomenon[A2]In the first place, because a huge amount of immigrants  have moved to big cities in order to make living, public facilities shoulder  more burden right now. To be more concrete, shopping malls, parks and even  gyms are all huddled with people with the increase of population. Thus it is  understandable that dwellers' living standard declines. Another challenging  issue is pollution. Factories can makeprofit [A3]by locating some places around big cities, because  there are sufficient talents and financial aid. Activities in some factories  can cause air pollution and water pollution which undermine citizen's health  seriously. More than that, I reckon that the fast pace of life is another  contributing factor of the declining living qualities.

  Considering all-above factors, government  is supposed to take action to tackle with this situation. To begin with, it's  advisable for government to enlarge its budget and pay more money on  constructing and maintaining public facilities. Additionally, the cause of  pollution must be the lack of sufficient supervision and management. Thus  it's urgent for them to carry out laws about this issue.

  As for individuals, there is still a collection of thing that we can do to improve our living standard such aschoosing public transportation rather than private cars and saving resources [A4]as much as possible. I believe that with the efforts from both sides ,we can enjoy better life.

  【A1】inevitable

  【A2】句号

  【A3】profits

  【A4】这两个都是和pollution更相关的,做到这些就能提升生活质量么?切记本文的主题是生活质量不是环境问题

  针对问题最大的一点指出问题:

  最后一段写个人时候也可以加上从fast pace of life 这个原因切入的解决方案,比如适当放松之类的会更好。

  整体来说这篇作文写的比较好,从任务完成情况、结构和论点论述上都很不错,加分点要继续保持,批注部分注意一下就可以了。

  附批改原图:

  以上就是小编为大家带来的一篇雅思写作批改文章。想了解更多2018年雅思考试内容、雅思考试注意事项等问题,欢迎咨询我们。

  

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