雅思作文批改|6-6.5分：结构非常好，思路可再拓展

　　雅思考试是为那些打算在以英语作为交流语言的国家或地区学习或工作的人们设置的英语语言水平考试，雅思考试内容是由听力、阅读、写作和口语共四部分。后面小编会陆续更新关于雅思作文批改的文章，在备考雅思时帮助大家不断修改中进步。

　　作文题目：

　　Across the world today, the  use of many languages has been declining. Only a few languages have been  increasingly used. Is this a positive or negative development?

　　作文内容：

　　Due to the globalization, most languages  are being used by fewer and fewer people while only some specific languages  are mentioned more frequently. This phenomenon has its own merits and  demerits. But from the overall point of view, it is advantageous.

　　Some  may argue that the decreasing number of different languages is equal to the  decline of cultural diversity. Surely a globally colorful culture is needed  as one nation's tradition can be regarded as the root for local residents.  However, language is not the only way to preserve local culture. By  constructing museums, giving history classes, publishing historical books, it  is possible to help the culture survive and thrive.

　　A wide range of advantages can be brought  by the increasing use of only a few languages. To begin with, this change  follows and even promotes the trend of globalization. Speaking same languages  is helpful tomake  different countries hug each other tightly[A1]. More than that, this phenomenon is also beneficial to  the economic growth, since it can save money to hire interpreters and save  time to translate from one language to another one in the process of trading  with foreign businessman. There would be less hindrances if two sides could  negotiate with the same languageand [A2]have a better understanding of each other.

　　[A3]The last but not least merit is that frequent usage of  only some specific languages is able to decrease the possibilities of  cultural conflict which is always the main reason for twocountries'[A4] misunderstanding or even battles.

　　Overall, I consider that the positive  effects of this phenomenon outweighit [A5]negative consequences. Hence it is imperative to impel  this process to go further.

　　[A1]用同样语言就能团结，那世界上就没有不同的政权形式了

　　[A2]And和谁连接，have和谁是并列谓语？如果是放在if的句子里逻辑就不对了，放在there的主句里主语又不对了

　　[A3]这里没必要再分一段

　　[A4]也不一定是两国，可以改成among different countries 放句尾

　　[A5]its

　　各项细评：

　　针对问题最大的一点指出问题：

　　本篇写得还不错，尤其是结构上非常好，不过最后一个优点没必要分段，可以放在上一段一起写。另外需要注意的还是论据的例举，你列举了经济，那就可以顺便想一想文化。相同语言有利于文化的传播，这个是可以写的。

　　附批改原图：

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