雅思作文批改6.5分：基础不错，稍微注意下语法细节

　　一般雅思评分从以下几个维度进行：是否切题、字数符合要求、论点和逻辑扩展（分论点）、语法（词汇、句式、连贯）、论述新颖。

　　作文题目：

　　It is sometimes  claimed that public museums and galleries are not necessary because people  can see the historical objects and works of art in those places on the  internet. Do you agree or disagree?

　　作文内容：

　　Not as before, cultural appreciation has recently dominated over  plenty of highly-publicized debates, finally becoming a big issue for all the  relevant parties. In allusion to this , a voice is now becoming prevalent:  there is no need to visit museum and galleries on account of the  opportunities offered by the Internet to see the artworks. To a larger  extent, such a point could not hold water.

　　With the rapid development of internet technology, it is undeniable  that the public has access to appreciate the image of art works on the  internet, which is convenient approach to require an abundance of objects and  works of arts, comparing with spending time visiting in virtual exhibition.

　　In spite of the advantages of Internet, it is worthwhile to note that  museums and galleries possess the distinct function and significance. The  first point that needs to be taken into consideration is that museums and  galleries play a crucial role in education. Some argue that the Internet can  also provide video and photograph about a wide variety of artworks. However,  it cannot provide face to face interpretation which is conducive to arousing  people’s interests about traditional and currentcultural[b1]. On the contrary, there are a large number of first-hand information  and sources as well as professional docents in the museums and galleries.

　　Other than the first factor mentioned above, a second reason can be  employed to prove my position. It is the fact that the museums are not only a  construction but also a symbol of domestic culture. Its existencepresent [b2]the rich culture and history concerning society, technology,  environment, etc and thuscontribute [b3]to remind the mass to treasure the ethnic culture and set up the  sense of national pride.

　　Therefore, I believe that the value of museums and galleries could  not be simply compared with that of Internet. I suggest that only by putting  great emphasis on establishing museums can they not be replaced by the  prevalent electronic devices.

　　[b1] culture 注意名词和形容词不要混用

　　[b2] presents 注意谓语动词形式和主语保持一致

　　[b3] contributes

　　针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：

　　这篇作文整体没有大的问题，可以看出英语基础比较好，建议在平时的写作中稍微注意一些语法上的细节问题，多积累一些地道的英文习语，短语，能让自己的写作表达更灵活一些。

　　给出解决方案：

　　不熟悉的语法可以看一下语法书，对于英语常用的一些句式要运用准确熟练哟。很好。

　　附批改原图：

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