托福作文批改20分：注意主谓一致

　　托福写作能拿到24分已经是令人羡慕了！而想要取得托福写作高分，前期的词汇及素材的综合积累万万少不得。今天课窝网就继续分享关于托福写作批改范文，大家也要自行检测哦。

　　作文题目：

　　Do you agree or  disagree with the following statement? Making sure that people such as the  manager or your supervisor know your strengths and accomplishments can help  you succeed.

　　作文内容：

　　Establishing intimate bond between  employees and employers, in the contemporary time, commonly exist in  enterprise, which exert impact on sub-ordinaries career advancement due to an  increasing knowledge of staff, and even triggers a heated discussion. Contrary  to numerous people’s perspective is my idea that a manager with an explicit  understanding ofyour  [b1]pros and advantages would render assistance to job prospects, on  account of two possible factors, the suitable arrangement and promotion in  occupation.

　　(逻辑链: know strength----proper  assignment-----output/driven force----success)

　　What must be prioritized is proper and adequate assignment arranged by  leadersis[b2] based on their own  knowledge of employees. To begin with, it is tasks, assigned by leaders,  matchingemployee’s[b3] strengths that maximize their output. Moreover, locating employee’s  strengths and achievement, one’s pride and honor, stimulates them to perfect  projects. In detail, private elation and job satisfaction are boosted during  this process, leading to improved performance. Take Amy,  a friend of mine whowork [b4]inan [b5]start-up with limited  co-workers, as an example. Her boss, who  observes her in assorted perspective,tend [b6]to make her socialize  with clients due to her extroverted personality. Accordingly, she is  enthusiastic in these activities and hone interpersonal skills as well.

　　(逻辑链: know  strength----promotion----success)

　　What should be equally worth discussing is  that sub-ordinaries move their career ladder easier when being acknowledged  and recognized by their superiors due to their strengths. Initially, the more  strengths and accomplishment they present and display to bosses, the more  inspiration and admiration they could gain from leaders. Specifically, great  triumph in work, including optimal solution in project and correct  unnecessary mistakes, is connected with professional skills and attitude,  which is conceived as determinant in career. Moreover, with understanding  regarding employee’s capability, supervisorsis[b7] prone to motivate  them to assume responsibility.Undertake [b8]significant projects,  undoubtedly,provide  [b9]them with access to  better position.

　　Employers’ knowledge of employees, as illustrated in example of Amy and Mark,render [b10]assistance to their content of tasks and promotion. Hence, for the sake of job satisfaction, it is not exaggerated to ensure that your managershould know a plethora of information of you.

　　[b1]这里建议和前面的人称保持一致，都用第三人称指代关系。employees’ (staff’)pros and advantages

　　[b2]注意前面已经出现了谓语动词is，因此这里直接使用非谓语动词based on

　　参考：。。。arranged by leaders based on their。。。。

　　[b3]employees[b3]’ strengths 注意人称单复数要保持一致，或者employee’s[b3] strengths…. maximize his output

　　[b4]works[b4] 注意主语是Amy

　　[b5]a

　　[b6]tends[b6] 注意主谓一致原则，Her boss

　　[b7]are

　　[b8]Undertakeing 注意动词不能直接做主语，要使用动名词的形式

　　[b9]provides[b9]

　　[b10]renders[b10] 注意主语是Employers’ knowledge of employees，中心词是knowledge表示单数

　　针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：

　　作文句子中，主谓一致出现了很多问题，建议在平时的写作中，可以稍微放慢速度，确保主语和谓语动词“数”的一致性。

　　附批改原图：

　　以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于托福写作批改范文分享。更多托福考试难度、南京托福培训班等问题，可以咨询我们。