雅思作文批改6分：调整下结构会更好

　　雅思写作在雅思考试中可以说是最难提高的一项。写作水平提高不是一朝一夕的事，需要烤鸭们长期的积累和练习。如果说有什么方法可以提高雅思写作成绩，雅思作文批改不失为一种好的方法。

　　作文题目：

　　Space travel has been possible for some time. Some people think space tourism can help to develop countries' economy, what do you think?What are the positive and negative about it?[A1]

　　作文内容：

　　There has always been different opinions towards space travel since it is a brand new activity which shows the progress of our high technology. Some people claim that space tourism is beneficial foreconomical [A2]development.

　　Surely it can boost prosperity of economy on many aspects. During this kind of unique journey, it is possible for scientists to find some new elements which may promote the scientific research. Another advantage is that travelling to the outer space may be everyone's dream. Thus they will try their best to be one of travelers no matter how much money it costs. In this way , consumption leads to moreeconomical [A3]benefits. More than that, if a country hosts such space- traveling activities, it will also attract some indirect profits. To be more specific, this nation will show its comprehensive strength unintentionally which elevates interest from foreign businessmen and tourists. Thus, both business and tourism will produce further progress.

　　However, whether it is suitable for a country to develop space tourism depends on different scenarios. If the gap between the poor and the rich constantly increases in a certain country, such kind of activities should be discouraged since government is supposed to consider people's well-being as priority.

　　Besides, in spite of some merits which brought by space tourism, there must be some demerits. For instance, pollution is a world-wide issue. There is no doubt that people will also carry some pollutants or rubbish to the outer space during the trip. In addition, the safety cannot be insured because there are so manyundiscoverable[A4] things which are out of control.All in all, it still need considerations before taking action.[A5]

　　[A1]这种题就是简单的第二段优点第三段缺点，第四段根据上述提出自己观点的写法

　　[A2]Economical是节约的意思，改成economic

　　[A3]economic

　　[A4]这个词是不可告人的，用unknown就可以

　　[A5]本段还是分析太多，不像是结尾段

　　针对问题最大的一点指出问题：

　　本文感觉上缺了一个结尾段。发展太空事业的优缺点论述分开两段去说，结尾段的what do you think在表达自己观点的时候做个五五分就比较好了，结构上还需要调整。

　　以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于雅思作文批改范文思路。更多雅思报名官网、雅思培训班多少钱等问题可以咨询我们。