雅思作文批改|5分：过于口语化，注意语法

　　雅思考试是为那些打算在以英语作为交流语言的国家或地区学习或工作的人们设置的英语语言水平考试，雅思考试内容是由听力、阅读、写作和口语共四部分。后面小编会陆续更新关于雅思写作的相关评分标准问题，在备考雅思时帮助大家不断修改中进步。

　　作文题目:大作文：剑11Test1大作文

　　Governments should spend  money on railways rather than roads.To what extent do you agree or disagree  with this statement?

　　作文内容：

　　Traffic problem has  disturbed government for a long term,as a lot ofmeasure [b1]have been taken to solve  that,[b2]there are still some  problems remained,m[b3]any people say that  government should spend more money on rail rather than road,but ican not[b4] totally agree with this  opinion.

　　Railway,comparing [b5]with road,has larger  capacity toload  [b6]goods or people,and it  is also a good choice for long-distance travel.One of the advantages of rail  is that you will never meet a traffic light or jam on your way to thedestiny[b7].Governmenthave invest [b8]a lot to make itmore safe[b9] andconvenient[b10],but sometimesit [b11]still makes trouble for peoplewhen it is at[b12] peak time;[b13]such as Spring Festival in China,there are even not enough tickets  for those passengers who want to go homeand [b14]they have to stay in the waiting room for a long time.So more  basic facilities or more trains are needed to serve such a large number of  people and increase the degree of comfort inpassenger’s [b15]journey.

　　On the contrast,road ,as  another way that frequently used,is more flexible than railway,b[b16]ut things changed when traffic condition is poor,ad [b17]people nowadays spend a lot of time on traffic jam due to the  increasing number of private cars,especially in those major cities.In order  to figure this problem,government should invest to build more roadslike [b18]overhead-roads to release the traffic stress ,so that theair quality[b19] in cities will improve a lot,too.[b20]

　　Overall,fund [b21]are needed in both of areas,but it is not wise to say that more  money should be used in rail or road,it mustaccording [b22]to the circumstance.

　　[b1]measures

　　[b2]but

　　[b3]注意断句，Many

　　[b4]写作中是cannot

　　[b5]compared

　　[b6]transfer

　　[b7]destination

　　[b8]has invested

　　[b9]safer

　　[b10]more convenient

　　[b11]指谁？

　　[b12]改成during

　　[b13]符号不对

　　[b14]又是连接谁？

　　[b15]passengers’

　　[b16]另起一句，大写

　　[b17]？

　　[b18]这是口语用词

　　[b19]和空气质量有关这个逻辑在哪里？

　　[b20]口语

　　[b21]funds

　　[b22]情态动词后用原形

　　针对问题最大的一点指出问题：

　　改这篇文章感觉像是改口语段子，因为口语化的说法很多，最大的问题是简单语法错误和复杂语法中句子的断句。句子可以写长，但长句也遵循语法规则，需要连词或者合适的代词。需要系统学习语法。

　　临考前建议整理一下论点思路，考场发挥尽量不要出大的语法错误就可以了。

　　以上就是小编为大家带来的一篇雅思写作批改文章。想了解更多2018年雅思考试内容、雅思阅读真题下载等问题，欢迎咨询我们。