托福作文批改|22分：需注意拼写和时态

　　要拿高分，得具备很多条件，较大的词汇量，扎实的语法，清晰的逻辑思维，丰富的观点见解。课窝网今天带来一篇托福作文批改，希望各位能从他人错误中获取教训，从他人成功处获取经验。

　　作文内容:

　　Do you agree the following statement? Children should help their family  with household chores instead of studying and playing.

　　Hardly could we deny the fact that how to educate childrenbecome[b1]s a crucial topic nowadays.Quiete[b2] a few parents fall over each other to force their children to take  extraclasses  [b3]while other parents give children free choices. Some contend that  children are born to play or study, and they should not shoulder any  household chores. While as far as I am concerned, children should help their  family in household since this not only cultivates their family  responsibility but also diminishes the burden of parents.

　　To begin with, doinghousehold[b4] is a proper way to promote children's responsibility of family to come  into being. When they contribute to family working, they know they not only  share the duty of a family member, but also start to consider to devote more  into participating family matters. Take myself as an example. When I was a  kid, my fatherforce[b5]me toacid[b6]my mother in washing the dishes after each meal since in his opinion,  no pay no gain. If I can hardly spare any effort to  improve our house,how  can I be committed as a master of this house[b7]. Gradually I would positivelygo[b8] to my great length to do housework due to the fact that I alwayshold[b9]the belief that share and shoulder is a MUST in the band of family  relationship.

　　Moreover, apparently children's dealing with housework would enormously  alleviate the burden of parents. Especially in a society where working stress  is everywhere, any piece of relax in home would comfort our parents. One  example aptly illustrates this point is my aunt. Shework[b10] in fanatical business. Every  day she has to stay in her company so late that she is exhausted when she  returns home. But what inspires hertremandously[b11] is that her house is so tidy  for the reason that her daughter has cleaned it in advance. Had her daughter  not done the housework, stressful and figured feeling  would have drowned her in.

　　Some may argue that it takes up children too much time to do household workand thus they are not able to focus on study. But a good distribution of housework can not onlygurantee[b12]to avoid its side affect but remind them of a sense of family responsibility and bring parents a relief. For these reasons, I strongly agree the statement that children ought to try to help their family in household chores. (402words)

　　[b1]用单数形式

　　[b2]单词拼写错误

　　[b3]用复数形式符合表达意思

　　[b4]household没有家务的意思，后面可以加个 work或者chores

　　[b5]用过去时 forced

　　[b6]应该是aid，帮助

　　[b7]这句话的意思表达不清楚

　　[b8]went

　　[b9]held

　　[b10]works

　　[b11]拼写错误 tremendously

　　[b12]拼写错误 guarantee

　　针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：

　　文章中词汇的拼写问题和时态问题需要注意，这些都是一些细节问题，在练习的时候多加注意，考试时可以避免不必要的失分。

　　附批改原图：

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