要拿高分,得具备很多条件,较大的词汇量,扎实的语法,清晰的逻辑思维,丰富的观点见解。课窝网今天带来一篇托福作文批改,希望各位能从他人错误中获取教训,从他人成功处获取经验。
作文题目:
What if your teacher or a meeting leader says something incorrect in public? Although many people prefer to talk about the mistake later or even just keep silence, the best way is actually to correct it right away.
作文内容:
Frankly speaking, it’s the most efficient solution in such a place of thought exchange, thus benefiting most people. The speaker would realize the mistake right away and quit the false impression, which may influence the remaining part of his speech. For the audience, they do not need to wait until the next time to correct the incorrect information. In factthere would not be[b1] the next time in many cases, for example in most meetings, which both the speaker and the audience are most likely to attend only once. Even worse, if you choose not to point it out at all, those who are not aware of the mistake would unluckily be misled thereafter.
In addition, it enhances the atmosphere, so that other people would be inspired to think actively and critically, and even come up with brilliant ideas which they would not dare to propose. Sometimes the speaker complain about the tedious atmosphere where everyone else keeps silence, but meanwhile theaudience [b2]would like to share theiropinion [b3]but do not dare to. This dilemma would not be solved if no one speaks out even though there is a mistake. It is common that in many classes and seminars, people are not active until someone start to share his or her opinion.
Moreover, it would not necessarily embarrass the teacher or the meeting leader if handled appropriately. For example, when my teacher mistook fiber for protein, I asked,” Did you mean to say fiber?”, which made it more like a tongue slip rather than a academic mistake. Obviously the effect is not worse than pointing it out later on privately.
Considering all the reasons above, correcting the mistake right away would be the best choice. In fact, it is not only the teacher or leader but everyone else involved that is responsible for the class, and if everyone hold such an open attitude, hierarchy and inefficiency would be minimized, which benefits all in the long run.
[b1] there would be no next- time
[b2]audiences [b2]注意和后面的their保持一致
[b3]opinions [b3]
针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议:
作文整体没有什么大问题,论述和语法表达都比较准确,平时注意一些小的语法错误就可以了。在分数提升上,建议多积累一些地道的短语或者高级词汇,在这方面作文中没有体现。
附批改原图:
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