托福作文批改20分:年长者在公众场合说了不正确的话该怎么办

2018-06-12 14:12 1797126次浏览
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  相较于听力和阅读,考生们总是对口语和写作这种“输出类”的考核更为头疼和担心。好文章不是写出来的,而是改出来的,所以,要在托福写作上高人一分,除了要勤练笔头之外,还需要清楚自己的问题弱点,知己知彼才能百战百胜嘛。一般托福写作评分从以下几个维度进行:是否切题、字数符合要求、论点和逻辑扩展(分论点)、语法(词汇、句式、连贯)、论述新颖。今天小编为大家分享的一片作文范文:如果你的老师或会议领导人在公共场合说了些不正确的话怎么办?

托福作文批改20分:年长者在公众场合说了不正确的话该怎么办

  作文题目:

  What if your teacher  or a meeting leader says something incorrect in public? Although many people  prefer to talk about the mistake later or even just keep silence, the best  way is actually to correct it right away.

  作文内容:

  Frankly speaking, it’s  the most efficient solution in such a place of thought exchange, thus benefiting  most people. The speaker would realize the mistake right away and quit the  false impression, which may influence the remaining part of his speech. For  the audience, they do not need to wait until the next time to correct the  incorrect information. In factthere would not be[b1] the next time in many  cases, for example in most meetings, which both the speaker and the audience  are most likely to attend only once. Even worse, if you choose not to point  it out at all, those who are not aware of the mistake would unluckily be  misled thereafter.

  In addition, it  enhances the atmosphere, so that other people would be inspired to think  actively and critically, and even come up with brilliant ideas which they  would not dare to propose. Sometimes the speaker complain about the tedious  atmosphere where everyone else keeps  silence, but meanwhile theaudience [b2]would like to share  theiropinion [b3]but do not dare to. This  dilemma would not be solved if no one speaks out even though there is a  mistake. It is common that in many classes and seminars, people are not  active until someone start to share his or her opinion.

  Moreover, it would not  necessarily embarrass the teacher or the meeting leader if handled  appropriately. For example, when my teacher mistook fiber for protein, I asked,”  Did you mean to say fiber?”, which made it more like a tongue slip rather  than a academic mistake. Obviously the effect is not worse than pointing it  out later on privately.

  Considering all the  reasons above, correcting the mistake right away would be the best choice. In  fact, it is not only the teacher or leader but everyone else involved that is  responsible for the class, and if everyone hold such an open attitude, hierarchy  and inefficiency would be minimized, which benefits all in the long run.

  [b1] there would be no next- time

  [b2]audiences [b2]注意和后面的their保持一致

  [b3]opinions [b3]

  针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议:

  作文整体没有什么大问题,论述和语法表达都比较准确,平时注意一些小的语法错误就可以了。在分数提升上,建议多积累一些地道的短语或者高级词汇,在这方面作文中没有体现。

  附批改原图:

微信图片_20180612140333.jpg

  以上就是小编为大家带来的托福写作范文。更多托福考试考什么、托福口语技巧等问题,可以咨询我们。

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