雅思作文批改6.5分：词汇重复太多

　　一般雅思评分从以下几个维度进行：是否切题、字数符合要求、论点和逻辑扩展（分论点）、语法（词汇、句式、连贯）、论述新颖。今天课窝网小编继续为大家分享雅思作文话题，希望大家认真阅读。

　　雅思作文题目：

　　Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

　　雅思作文内容：

　　There is a widely acknowledged belief that the earlier one learns a foreign language, the better he or she may get command of it. Based on this idea, I hold the point of view that it’s better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school than secondary school.

　　Researches down in the field of linguistics suggest that it’s the golden time for children to learn a kind of language before 12 years old. It’s easier for them to imitate the pronunciation of a foreign language as young children don’t get tremendous impact from their mother language like adults or teenagers do.

　　Consequently, learning a foreign in primary school means learners may have more potential to speak like a native speaker. While in secondary school, their way of pronunciation is easily affected by mother language which means with the same efforts they can hardly speak as naturally and fluently as early learners of that language.

　　Apart from that, starting early also wins them more time. After several years of learning and practicing in primary school, they get used tothe text of English[b1]. Then, in secondary school, what they can be involved in is consolidating and strengthening their foreign language skills. Those who only begin to learn in secondary school are possible to be left behind in this way.

　　Undoubtedly, children in secondary school have a more mature mind and acquire a better understanding of language’s grammar. That’s one of the reasons why some people think it’s better to begin learning a foreign language at secondary school rather thanprimary school[b2]. Low capacity of understanding and comprehension is definitely a disadvantage. However, grammar isn’t everything. The more important choice is to develop a sense of language, which makes up the poorunderstanding [b3]of grammar.

　　All in all, although learning early is not likely to render good knowledge of grammar, considering other benefits including speaking potential and more time, we can arrive at the conclusion that the advantages of beginning to learn a foreign in primary school instead of secondary school outweigh its disadvantages.

　　[b1]这里使用authentic English比较好。

　　[b2] at primary school[b2].

　　[b3]mastering，grasping，这里可以使用同义词替换

　　老师评语：

　　1、结构完整，逻辑思路清楚，每一段的论点都有详细的举例说明。比较具有说服力。

　　2、语言方面，没有明显的语法错误，词汇使用都比较准确，句型变化也比较丰富，段和句之间也有相应的连词。

　　3、总体来说，可以看出基础比较好，但是可以在词汇使用上有进一步的突破，建议多积累一些地道的用法，词汇使用词汇不要重复太多。

　　附批改原图：

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