托福作文批改22分：需注意文章变化

　　一般托福写作评分从以下几个维度进行：是否切题、字数符合要求、论点和逻辑扩展（分论点）、语法（词汇、句式、连贯）、论述新颖。今天课窝网继续分享范文，大家可以以话题自行参考。

　　作文题目:TPO30综合写作

　　作文内容:

　　The reading passage asserts that the Greeks were  impossible to use the burning mirror to defend themselves and gives three  reasons to support its viewpoint. However, the lecture casts doubt on the  statement in the reading and presents three counterpoints.

　　Firstly, though the reading contends that the  ancient Greek did not have the ability to make such a device with several  meters wide, the professor says that the Greek could assemble several small  pieces of polished copper mirror into a large mirror and mathematicians also  knew how to assemble these pieces precisely.

　　Secondly, despite the statement in the reading  that it might cost long time to set the ships on fire, the lecture argues  that the time of setting fire depends on the material of the ship. If the Roman  ships were made with pitch instead of wood, these ships would be fired  quickly within seconds rather than ten minutes.

　　Finally, the author in the reading passage says  that the burning mirror is not the improvement on weapon, its function can be  realized with the common weapon, flaming arrows, whereas the listening  lecture opposes that compared with the burning mirror, the enemy, the Roman,  are more familiar with flaming arrows, therefore, the burning mirror would  attack the Romansurprisedly[b1]. So  it is more effective than the flaming arrows.

　　[b1]Surprisingly 注意这里词性的变化

　　针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：

　　作文在语言表达和观点总结上都比较好，没有太大的问题，稍微注意一下某些词汇的词性变化。

　　附批改原图：

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