托福作文批改22分：需多积累高分句式和词汇

　　一般托福写作评分从以下几个维度进行：是否切题、字数符合要求、论点和逻辑扩展（分论点）、语法（词汇、句式、连贯）、论述新颖。今天课窝网继续分享范文，大家可以以话题自行参考。

　　作文题目：

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is more important to watch or read news presented by people whose views are different from your own than watch or read the ones presented by people whose views are similar to your own.

　　作文内容：

　　Currently, multimedia has developed thoroughly within our daily lives, affecting all aspects in the modern society. The majority of us probably watch televisions and read magazines as well as journals. Apparently, after reading such thesereporting[b1], we should develop some viewpoints from events happened in the world, yet some people’s opinions on one event are distinct fromus[b2]. For that phenomenon, I consider that we should read and watch the news demonstrated by people who are different from us.

　　On the first stage, reading and watching fresh news by people who are different from us is more likely to form our own unique considerations. Take some important news for example. Recently, Rio held a successful Olympic Games in the world, and every country’s sportsmendevote[b3] themselves to this fantastic sports meeting. Everybody is aware of that, therefore I would not prefer to read thosesort [b4]of news, because it cannot assist me in developing my own critical thoughts. What I focus is that the expenditures and revenues caused by this Olympic Game, and how the residents here to comment this Olympic Game. After watching these different views, many people come up with a lot of viewpoints, but they are all different, so do I. Unlike Olympic Game which is all about celebrating news and comments, those which support different types of news can benefit me from thinking problems from multi-angles.

　　In addition, reading and watching news by commentators whose points are different fromus[b5] can help us develop a sense of achievement. Aside from being unique in my own thoughts, I can feel I am so special and I feel like that I can challenge these famous commentators. Take a piece of Chinese news in this case.In China, most primary schools in rural areas cannot support their own basic needs; children have classes withoutblackboard[b6],computers, and lots of modern equipment. However, our channels and newspapers announced that the countryhas[b7]contributed million dollars to these areas in order to improve their situations and these effortsreceive[b8]returns. Nevertheless, I prefer to read these kinds of news because I think that the authorities have little responsibilities for improving rural situations for the fact does not correspond to the reporters’ sayings. Because these reporters are the most domestic-renowned ones in our country, I feel very proud because I can propose a different viewpoint from theseperspectives[b9]. Also, most other people who read these pieces of news hold the same attitudes as mine. Consequently, reading distinct news can prompt us to be more confident, which promotes me to give my own opinion on every event, and reading those news which hold the same points as mine cannot exert the same effects.

　　To sum up, I consider that not only can I expand my considering abilities by reading news from a person who hold different viewpoints from mine, but I can also be more confident, which is more beneficial in my future.

　　[b1]用reports，reporting是不可数名词，不能用these修饰

　　[b2]ours

　　[b3]devoted，用过去时

　　[b4]用sorts

　　[b5]ours

　　[b6]用复数 blackboards

　　[b7]had，用过去时

　　[b8]received

　　[b9]标黄的这个例子读起来有些乱，虽然用的有逻辑连接词，但是在内容上逻辑连接不是很紧密

　　各项细评：

　　针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：

　　文章最大的问题是语言表达能力一般，在平常要多读原文报刊和优秀范文，积累高分的词汇和句式并运用到自己的写作中去。

　　附批改原图：

　　以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于托福考试作文批改的相关内容。更多托福考试高分技巧、托福考试时间等问题，可以咨询我们。