托福作文批改24分：多注意小细节

　　一般托福写作评分从以下几个维度进行：是否切题、字数符合要求、论点和逻辑扩展（分论点）、语法（词汇、句式、连贯）、论述新颖。今天课窝网继续分享范文，大家可以以话题自行参考。

　　作文题目：

　　Do you agree with the  statement that food now is healthier than the past.

　　作文内容:

　　Hardly could we deny  the fact that with the advancement of technology nowadays, the healthy  statement of food changes greatly. The market is rampant with instant food,pesticide  vegetable[b1], and fried meat. Thus  somecontends[b2] that the healthy  condition of food is decreasing. However,i[b3]strongly believe the  food is becoming healthier for the following reasons: nowadays people are  easier exposed to information regarding healthy diets and preservation  technology of foodmake[b4]fresh food available.

　　To begin with, people  is more concerned with the scientific matches of food and go to great length  to ingest fresh and non-polluting food now. With the boom of finance in  china, people have awarenesses of paying more attention  on healthy food. Conversely, in the past when the country still went  through the war, people could hardly keep their stomach full, not mention  that try to be concerned with food safety. To illustrate, my grandmother,  whose parentsdead[b5] due to the starvation  during the war, always wants to keep everything as long as it is not spoiled.  This is too excess. On the contrary, my mother would stress the importance of  the nutrition contained in the meat, value thevatamine[b6]vegetables include  and attach significance to keeping balance diet.

　　Moreover, advancement  of preservation technology in food industry not onlytremandously[b7]boosts the quality of  food but also makes quite a few kinds of food accessible. One example that  aptly illustrates this point is blueberries in china. Once upon a time, even  though people realized the blueberrieshave[b8]beneficial function  on humans' brains, the blueberries still could not be obtained in china since  the import of blueberries was a huge barrier. The shortage of storing  blueberryleads[b9] to the rareness of  them. But the thing is totally different now. With the super cooling  transportation system, one is able to buy fresh blueberries without any  effort as long as he wants.

　　It is true that in  order to earn money nowadays some dishonest traders would produce food by  adding chemical compounds which may be harmful to our physical health.  However, our governments also fall over each other to improve themonioring[b10]system to punish these behaviors. On the  other hand, the preservation technology in food industry and media's  spreading of healthy diet aids people in obtaining high-quality  food. For these reasons, I strongly agree the statement that compared with  the past, the food now is relatively healthier.

　　[b1]pesticide tainted vegetable受农药污染的蔬菜

　　[b2]用复数形式

　　[b3]I 大写

　　[b4]makes 主语是单数

　　[b5]用died

　　[b6]拼写错误 vitamin

　　[b7]拼写错误 tremendously[b7]

　　[b8]用过去时 had

　　[b9]过去式 led

　　[b10]拼写错误 monitoring

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