备考攻略:雅思写作5分和8分的直观对比

2018-08-22 11:38 1728801次浏览
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  写作应该是对所有中国人来说难度最大的一项了。这是因为写作对词汇、语法、逻辑思维都有相当高的要求,雅思写作也是严格按照评分标准的四项(词汇、语法、连接、任务完成度)来判分的。下面课窝网为大家分享了一份5分与8分的直观对比,相信对你的后期写作思路会大有帮助。

备考攻略:雅思写作5分和8分的直观对比

  开头段:

  (Band 5-6) We live in a world where health and safety is more and more important. One of the signs of this is that people want the government to ban dangerous sports. While I understand that argument, my view is that people should be free to do whatever sports they want.

  本段中"more and more" "want" "do"等词汇都是大家写作中非常常见的内容,如何用其他less common vocabulary 去替代这些使用频率很高的内容就是我们必须要解决的任务了。

  在以下的Band5-6的段落中,主要问题和开头段中的类似,总结起来主要有几点:

  1. 词汇过于常见、基础;

  2. 因为词汇较为基础,故往往一个词会有多重含义,因而语意传达可能不够精准。

  3. 因内容不充足,故无法体现词汇。

  (Band 7-8) We live in a world where healthand safety is an ever greater priority. One ofthe signs of this is the demand that dangerous sports should be banned. While I understand that argument, myview is that, within certain limits, peopleshould retain the freedom to participate in whateversports they choose.

  经过修改,“越来越重要”被替换成“更优先”,比起严格意义上的同意替换,转换表达方式或许是一个更明智的选择。“do”被替换成了“participate in”,更加具体、明确。

  主体段落1:

  (Band 5-6) The biggest reason for objecting to dangerous sports is that they can be very dangerous and can sometimes kill people. More than that, it is not just the sports people who are in danger, but spectators too can be badly hurt. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may be hurt and it is possible that people in the crowd will be too. Because of this danger, it is understandable why people want the government to ban thesesports.

  (Band 7-8) The principal reason for objecting to extreme sports is of course that they can be highly dangerous and sometimes life-threatening. More than that, it is not just the participants who are at risk, but spectators too can be seriously injured. If, for example, a Formula 1 car crashes, the driver may not escape unharmed and there is also a chance that a bouncing tyre or debris will fly into the crowd. Given this level of danger, it is understandable why people call for theauthorities to take action.

  "biggest"替换成"principal"显然表达更为明确。Big有多重含义,可以指体积大,也可以至重要性大,在此处的含义是“重要性大“,所以使用“principal”替代显然是最明智的选择。

  主体段落2:

  (Band 5-6) The opposite argument is that people should be free to do whatever risk they want. So, if someone wants to jump out of a plane, then they shouldbe allowed to and the government cannot say what they should do. A further point is that many dangerous sports are not very risky and it is as dangerous doing everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.

  (Band 7-8) The counter argumentis that people should be allowed to assume whatever risk theychoose. So, if someone wishes to freefall from a plane at 30,000 feet, then they should be free to do so and it should be accepted that it is not the place of the government to dictate how they lead their lives. A further point is that in statistical terms there is a low probability of injury in many so-called dangerous sports and people are at greater risk carrying out everyday activities such as crossing the road or cooking a meal as bungee jumping.

  本段的替换尤为典型,作者加入了很多细节的内容,从而瞬间提升了逼格。

  (Band 5-6) I think that the government should regulate dangerous sports, but it should not ban them. It should also make certain that there is as little danger as possible because safety is the most important thing. This is most important for young children who cannot make their own decisions.

  (Band 7-8) My personal view is that while the government and other authorities doneed to regulate dangerous sports, it would be preferable not to impose a ban on them entirely.I would suggest that safeguards need to be established so that any risk is minimised. What these safeguards are will vary from sport to sport, but safety has to be paramount,especially where minors are involved.

  尽量少出现"I think",非常口语化,替换成“My personal view”会有立竿见影的效果。

  以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于雅思作文不同分数段的分析,其实主要就是词汇替换及思维的转变,希望大家在备考基础知识之余也多增加课外阅读哦。更多雅思考试报名官网、雅思词汇量等问题,可以咨询我们。

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