雅思作文批改6.5分：结构简洁，很优秀

　　雅思作文要想获得高分其逻辑结构很重要，所以在练习写作后的修改，自我批评就十分重要了。如果缺乏一针见血的批改，就只能无限次循环那些无意识的错误，哪怕练习地次数再多，也只是让自己更熟练地犯错而已。下面课窝网继续分享一篇雅思作文批改范文，大家可以参考，自行检测哦。

　　作文题目：

　　作文内容：

　　The table showsthe  consumer from five different nations expenditure of three types[A1]in 2002.

　　The type of Food /Drinks  /Tobacco was the dominant expenditure in all five countries. Among them,  32.14% of Turkey was the biggest one. It was followed by 28.91% of Ireland.  Besides, the figures for other three countries, Spain, Italy and Sweden,  which were 18.80%, 16.36% and 15.77% respectively, were all under one fifth.

　　In terms of Clothing  /Footwear, we could see that the percentage of Italian spending on it was the highest, with representing 9%. After that, the proportions  of Ireland, Spain and Turkey were extremely close (6.43%, 6.51% and 6.63%).  Similarly, consumer expenditure of Sweden on this category constituted 5.40%.

　　Finally, Leisure /Education  was invested less then other two kinds, with all the data under 5%.

　　In conclusion, the Food  /Drinks /Tobacco was the biggest cost of all nations, and the Clothing  /Footwear ranked second. Leisure  /Education was the last.

　　The consumer expenditure of three types from five different nations,注意from短语的位置

　　各项细评：

　　针对问题最大的一点给出修改建议：

　　整篇文章思路清晰，结构简洁，很优秀。但是在字数方面需要注意，全文共156个字，雅思作文最少要求150.可以在leisure/education部分添加具体的一些数值。

　　附批改原图：

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