雅思作文批改6.5分:表达上还可以更地道

2018-10-25 15:17 1593904次浏览
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  今天,课窝网继续为大家分享雅思作文批改,在往期的推送中每一篇都有不同的错误,而且错误的点都不一样,这些常规问题也伴随着大家的,所以可以好好看看是不是有自己的影子?

  作文题目:

  Some people prefer to  spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding changes. Others,  however, think that change is always a good thing.

  Discuss both these  views and give your own opinion.

  作文内容:

  People have varying  opinions on whether life should be spent doing the same things or not. From  my perspective, it is necessary to have some changes in our lives.

  Making changes, to a  large extent, is challenging for most people. It means that individuals need  to step out of their comfort zones and get used tosome brand new[b1]environment and  acquire new set of skills that demand a great deal of time and energy; thus,  many people would shy from changes and keep doing the same jobs or following  routines instead. However, these people tend to ignore one crucial fact that almost  everything in this world is undergoing changes, including the people they  socialize with and the technologies employed in their daily work. If a person  refuses to reform or updatetheir [b2]thinking and  abilities, it would be extremely difficult forthem [b3]to keep pace with the  ever-changing society.

  In spite of this, it  does not automatically mean that change is always for the better. After all,  certain traditional values, for instance, are worthy of carrying on and  passing from generation to generation due to the educational functions and  traditional cultures embedded in them. Besides, changing career paths from  time to time is often regarded as a lack of rational and clear understanding  of a person’s role and responsibility in a larger community. For these  reasons, changes should be encouraged and appreciated only when one has  considered thoroughly the necessity and subsequent consequences of his  actions.

  In conclusion, changes  are inevitable and they could promote people to be more creative and capable  if made in the due courses.

  [b1] A unfamiliar 这里环境用不熟悉或者陌生来形容更好一些

  [b2]his 和前面的人称a person保持一致

  [b3]him

  附批改原图:

雅思作文批改6.5分:表达上还可以更地道

  以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于雅思写作批改范文。更多雅思官网报名、雅思考试科目等问题,可以咨询我们。

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