托福作文批改21分：分论点还可以更切题

　　托福写作能拿到24分已经是令人羡慕了！而想要取得托福写作高分，前期的词汇及素材的综合积累万万少不得。今天课窝网就继续分享关于托福写作批改范文，大家也要自行检测哦。

　　作文题目：

　　The government should  support scientific research that does not have any practical use.

　　你这个作文题目是全的了吗，如果是完整的题目要求的话，那你需要论证的观点就应该是证明这个句子的正确性

　　作文内容：

　　Undoubtedly,it is generally borne in people that science is assuming  on an increasingly pivotal role in this society.Accordingly,it seems  that no matterwhether there is  relationship between the scientific researches and the practical use or not,[c1]the government has responsibility to fund in the researches.Nevertheless,individuals  insistinging on this standpoint fail to  observe the fact that the reason that people do researches for is to make the  results into practical use and make more profit for the public.In  addition,researches without any uses must  make no sense for people to hold on going for,enthusiasm  and some motivations will be lost.Simultaneously,  it will be better for government to donate money on the projects with some practicaluses,such as the newer spaceships.

　　词汇较丰富，句式也比较多换，但是要注意改的那个句子，观点较明确，还是不错的。

　　To begin with, on no  account should we ignore the fact that our original destination to do  research is to mtake the most  advanced result into practical use.Therefore,we  haveestablished a large number of scientific research centers and  hired a large quantity of talents tomajor inspecialize in these projects,we want to  obtain profits from these researching findingsresultsand  makeitthose beneficial achievements  prevalent to the public.Eventually,everyone can  enjoy the scientific benefits.

　　Moreover,it should be  underscored that researseaches with practical uses isareequivalent  to something that actually makes sense.[c2]Since,people  will be full withofenthusiasm  and motivations if the research’s result can be made into use in the fields  in the real life, likefactory, the spaceships and so on.With  the practical use,the research is supposed to be a  pride job because the measurement people do once and once again is only to  make the public more convenient and comfortable to live their lives.The  research will be added to a sense of obligation and responsibility.Thus,People  will try their best to finish the research.

　　Last but not least,it  should be also worth mentioning that the theories and the equations in some  researches are always hard to understand,sotheyresearchers  need the practical case to get better explanations andgraspings.[c3]Researchers  will grasp the working methods and processing theories easily through those  practical uses and existing techniques.The  simplified reasearch accesses and the saved time are attributed to the  practical uses.It does provide us with many  conveniences.

　　这个段做好结合一下讨论的主要问题，政府应不应该支持

　　In conclusion,from  what has been discussed above,I firmly subscribe to the point  that the practicallyuseless research should  not be supported by the government because it will make us lost our original  destination.Contemporarily, reasearches with no  sense lead us to lack the motivations and compellings.Eventually,the  practical uses actually simplify our reasearch  processing and lots of work.[c4]

　　[c1]这个句子中的宾语从句不完整哦

　　[c2]这个部分有点太过gengeral

　　[c3]这个词是形容词哦

　　[c4]这个做结尾，不好，应该再重申观点，或者呼吁

　　以上就是小编为大家介绍的关于托福写作作文批改范文分享。更多托福成绩有效期、托福词汇量要求等问题可以咨询我们。