雅思作文批改|6.5分：语法上有些许小错误，总体写得不错！

　　雅思考试是为那些打算在以英语作为交流语言的国家或地区学习或工作的人们设置的英语语言水平考试，雅思考试内容是由听力、阅读、写作和口语共四部分。后面小编会陆续更新关于雅思作文批改的文章，在备考雅思时帮助大家不断修改中进步。

　　作文题目：

　　Some cities have vehicle  free days, when private cars, trucks, motorcycles are banned in the city  center. Public transportations like buses taxis and metros are advised. To  what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

　　作文内容：

　　With the increase of  awareness of the pollution caused by vehicles, people tend to take actions to  deal with the problems by choosing public transportation more frequently.  Specially, some cities start to organize vehicle-free dayswhen [b1]the public transportation  ways get the best advertisements.

　　The supporters claim that  thewild [b2]use of private vehicles  not only caused the enormous waste of energy, but also  contributed to the traffic jam as well as noise pollution. It is the time  that we should change our lifestyle andembarrass [b3]a much more  environmentally friendly one. Through the well-organized vehicle-free days,  people can be educated to learn about the convenience and highcost [b4]performance of public  transportation, which is hard for drivers to know usually. From the realistic  aspect, the consumption of a whole city’s private vehicles can be saved and  the road situation will be historically clear.

　　Opponents may maintain that  the ban of all privatevehicle [b5]in one day is not  realistic and senseless.Communicators [b6]will rush to the public  transportation and the number of people will definitely outweigh the designed  recommended number. The very crowded buses or underground will make every  user unhappy and some of them have just got the education about the  convenience of public transportation. Seeing the crowded inside the carriage,  they tend to be scared and choose to go back to originalcommunication [b7]way. Hence, the  education and propaganda will be far from satisfaction.

　　In my opinion, apart from  the possible inconvenience and waste of road use function, the vehicle-free  day is still meaningful. We can make some improvementssuch as[b8] only ban a part of  vehicles one day and drivers can take turns to experience the public  transportation. I believe this way can reach the goal of education and avoid  unnecessary overcrowded.

　　[b1]连词使用不当，用so更好

　　[b2]wide

　　[b3]embrace?

　　[b4]?

　　[b5]vehicles

　　[b6]Commuters?

　　[b7]这个词是交流沟通，commute

　　[b8]such as后只加短语或词，要么换成for example另起一句加完整句子，要么把后面变成非谓语

　　针对问题最大的一点指出问题：

　　To what extent do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.这种题在主体段论证不用写一些人认为，另一些人认为。此外，试图使用不常见单词（commute），但是要保证用对。通篇的will很多，建议改为would更好。段内缺少衔接词，使层次感不强，还应该多注意句间连词。

　　整体来看文章除了一些小的语法错误和连贯衔接需要加强以外没有出现大的问题，作文写的不错，加油！

　　附批改原图：

　　以上就是小编为大家带来的一篇雅思写作批改文章。想了解更多2018年雅思考试内容、雅思考试难不难等问题，欢迎咨询我们。