雅思作文批改5分：句子上使用有些中式，注意语法

　　最近课窝网分享的关于雅思作文批改范文，这些常规问题也伴随着你们大部分人，大家可以好好看看是不是有自己的影子？老师又是如何批改的？知己知彼才能备考事半功倍哦。

　　作文内容：

　　The graph is about how an area has developed and what changes are likely to happen in the future. It is clear that nowthere were about six new featuresbetween 1968 and now[b1].

　　In 1968, there was a river winding across the region from top to bottom with a shipside in the centre of the river.In the centre of the river is a shipside. [b2]On the western bank of river, there was locateda road leading to the city and abundant treeswas[b3] planted at the corner.

　　Now, the place where used to be a shipside is a bridge connecting the road going across the area. Moreover, plenty of trees were cut down and two main car parks have been built. To the western of the river, three new buildings have been constructed while to the eastern of it, the number of houses is 2 times more than before.

　　In the future, there is expected to be a new walking road to the south of a current oneacross the river. Besides, it is worth noting that at the south-eastern, a church and a car parkare still under constructions[b4]. (188 words)

　　[b11]改为compared with 1968比较合适

　　[b12]重复描述，删掉

　　[b13]were

　　[b14]计划建造，will be built

　　老师点评：

　　1. 基本上描述出了图片中的变化，也做了对比

　　2. 句子上使用有些中式，注意时态及单复数的使用

　　得分：5

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